Missing the Big Family life ..

When I was little I was surrounded by family, I had Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, Cousins, Brothers and when everyone would get together it would be pure chaos but completely necessary to fulfill my childhood. It makes me really sad to know that my boys won't have all that chaos but I do my best to recreate what I had and what I cherished when I was little. Today I got a special surprise in the mail that really took over the rest of my afternoon, pictures and video of me and my family from the late 80's and early 90's and yes there was many funny hair cuts but it was amazing to see how well everyone got a long and how happy everyone was. There were videos of people who are long since gone and who were really special to me and as much as it hurts to think about them again I am super happy to have something to show my kiddos. Watching that video  put me right back in the moments, I really can't get over how happy everyone was together. So much has happened in the last 15 years and we are hardly the family that we were back then but I will always cherish those special years and those genuine smiles. I am defiantly missing my big family...

Winter Blues

This time of year is tough around here, nothing to do and no money to create things to do. The weather sucks, there is no work and my kids would rather go to the sitters then stay home with me, which I don't blame them at least they would have other kids and a change of scenery. The idea that we get all this time off of work sounds really good on paper but we have to be on call 5 days a week which includes the weekend so I don't ever get to make any plans with my kids. It's hard to even take them to the aquarium (pass holders) because that is a half hour in the opposite direction of work and what if I get called in.  It's aggravating to say the least. Not to mention this whole getting back into shape goal of mine, I feel like I've been working my ass off and I just keep watching that scale go up! UGH I Hate WINTERS ! It's really crazy how much you would kill for a day off when you are in the middle of the season and then when your time off finally gets here how incredibly boring and stressful it is to sit by a phone all day and wonder if you have to rush off to work. Well that's my rant for right now ... I know it will get better .... it always does and I know I won't have to deal with this forever but for now it's aggravating that the time I get to spend with my kids I can't actually do anything but sit at home and stare at my phone ....  Wishing we were back in Cali by the pool right about now ...