Missing the Big Family life ..

When I was little I was surrounded by family, I had Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, Cousins, Brothers and when everyone would get together it would be pure chaos but completely necessary to fulfill my childhood. It makes me really sad to know that my boys won't have all that chaos but I do my best to recreate what I had and what I cherished when I was little. Today I got a special surprise in the mail that really took over the rest of my afternoon, pictures and video of me and my family from the late 80's and early 90's and yes there was many funny hair cuts but it was amazing to see how well everyone got a long and how happy everyone was. There were videos of people who are long since gone and who were really special to me and as much as it hurts to think about them again I am super happy to have something to show my kiddos. Watching that video  put me right back in the moments, I really can't get over how happy everyone was together. So much has happened in the last 15 years and we are hardly the family that we were back then but I will always cherish those special years and those genuine smiles. I am defiantly missing my big family...

Winter Blues

This time of year is tough around here, nothing to do and no money to create things to do. The weather sucks, there is no work and my kids would rather go to the sitters then stay home with me, which I don't blame them at least they would have other kids and a change of scenery. The idea that we get all this time off of work sounds really good on paper but we have to be on call 5 days a week which includes the weekend so I don't ever get to make any plans with my kids. It's hard to even take them to the aquarium (pass holders) because that is a half hour in the opposite direction of work and what if I get called in.  It's aggravating to say the least. Not to mention this whole getting back into shape goal of mine, I feel like I've been working my ass off and I just keep watching that scale go up! UGH I Hate WINTERS ! It's really crazy how much you would kill for a day off when you are in the middle of the season and then when your time off finally gets here how incredibly boring and stressful it is to sit by a phone all day and wonder if you have to rush off to work. Well that's my rant for right now ... I know it will get better .... it always does and I know I won't have to deal with this forever but for now it's aggravating that the time I get to spend with my kids I can't actually do anything but sit at home and stare at my phone ....  Wishing we were back in Cali by the pool right about now ...

Miss her

Do u ever have those days that just blow up from the second you wake up. I rolled over this morning and grabbed my phone to see what time it was and before I even saw the time I saw the date... September 20th its grandmas birthday ... Well would have been if she was still here.... It's crazy how life works you spend ur whole childhood wishing you were an adult then ur whole adulthood wishing for things to be like they were when you were a child . I had 6 grandparents growing up ,uncles , aunts , cousins ... It seemed like there was an abundance of people around me that would always be around as of this summer I don't have any grandparents , most of my aunts and uncles have disappeared for one reason or another and I catch myself longing for a family I once had .... Damn getting old sucks and I'm only 26 .... People say well you've got those boys and your husband and a home and a job an a lot to be thankful for and I agree I do but I didn't know you had to trade in one for the other I thought family was a package deal I don't know it all seems sad and pointless to me ... Oh ya so I got out of bed after contemplating all of this and decided to check my bank account and remembered the nice present Irene left me as she battered our island last month .... An empty bank account .... Like I said it's just one of those days and now I've got to drive 5 hours for a 3 hour class ... Things you do to try and make it in this world ..... Oh what I wouldn't do to be at my grandmas house today in Newport getting ready for the 4th of July parade or hunting for Easter eggs at the condo ... Damn this sucks ...time to go to many tourists getting on the beach .... Going to get a bday cake for grandma ... She loved cake

Love my boys

It's so sweet to see the love that my boys have for their daddy. Some days it may seem that he is just one of their playmates but on a morning like this one they really showed how much the love and respect him. I was thinking today that it's pretty crazy how our little dudes are almost 2 and 5 ... And then I got to thinking that these little boys have lived in the same house their whole life ... Talk about stability ... That's something that I am incredibly proud of ...anywho this is me signing out for the night

A day with the fishes ...

I took Noah and Ryden to the aquarium last Sunday while mike and Cory went surfing ... We had a lot of fun . It's a small aquarium so we were only there for about an hour. Noah loved saving his baby turtle from his "inflection" that was called "hipvirous" really the little turtle had a lung infection . The day was awesome till we got to the gift shop and Noah wanted a toy I had to explain to him the Irene the hurricane took all mommys money and it was meltdown time after that ... Oh well I had fun with my boys :)

Bringing blogging to my phone

So alot has happened the past few weeks with Irene coming through and then all the clean up that came after. This summer has been long and full of loss and tons of stress. I feel that I always say this but hopefully next year will b our year . Me and Cory started massage school this week so along with working full Time going to college full time and raising two kids I am now working on becoming a massage therapist . I downloaded this program on my phone so I can update my blog instead of being on facebook so much it's really annoying how much people use Facebook to meddle in your business ... Ive used facebook as my blog for years posting pictures and writing little pieces of my life down but really I don't need people to who are negative to respond to my life and judge me and my Friends for how we live our life ... I mean really 2 schools 2 kids and full time work ... If I wanna relax with friends every once and a while who is anyone to criticize me or the friends I'm with ... Ugh anyways that's why I have this ... Anywho here's some Picts from Irene

Holy Wow !

So living on an Island has it's perks one of them being that we don't get really busy at work until after memorial day. Unfortunately or fortunately this year just isn't the case. Man oh man am I wiped out from this week. I forgot how hard it is to get back into the swing of things for summer !

Well my work had this awesome idea to do breakfast with the Easter bunny and since I've been working so much this week and missed all the other Easter festivities on the beach I thought I would be a good mama and take the boys to see him .... WOWSIE was I wrong ! Noah was so scared he hid under the table any time the Easter Bunny was even in the room and Ryden would scream bloody murder every time the Bunny moved! I guess the trip to Disneyland and being scared of Mickey should have a been a clue. I think it's going to be a LONG time before I try that again !

Ok so our plans for tonight boil eggs, dye eggs, go to K Mart and Help the Easter bunny out a little bit because even though they are scared of the GIANT RABBIT they still do love all the little treatsies that come along when the Easter bunny comes.  This should be a lot of fun and then well back to work on Monday.

Well it seems like I gatta lot of work today ... But I just wanted to add a picture to this post .. Love ya Daddy-o0o We will see you soon ... We all love ya :)