Miss her

Do u ever have those days that just blow up from the second you wake up. I rolled over this morning and grabbed my phone to see what time it was and before I even saw the time I saw the date... September 20th its grandmas birthday ... Well would have been if she was still here.... It's crazy how life works you spend ur whole childhood wishing you were an adult then ur whole adulthood wishing for things to be like they were when you were a child . I had 6 grandparents growing up ,uncles , aunts , cousins ... It seemed like there was an abundance of people around me that would always be around as of this summer I don't have any grandparents , most of my aunts and uncles have disappeared for one reason or another and I catch myself longing for a family I once had .... Damn getting old sucks and I'm only 26 .... People say well you've got those boys and your husband and a home and a job an a lot to be thankful for and I agree I do but I didn't know you had to trade in one for the other I thought family was a package deal I don't know it all seems sad and pointless to me ... Oh ya so I got out of bed after contemplating all of this and decided to check my bank account and remembered the nice present Irene left me as she battered our island last month .... An empty bank account .... Like I said it's just one of those days and now I've got to drive 5 hours for a 3 hour class ... Things you do to try and make it in this world ..... Oh what I wouldn't do to be at my grandmas house today in Newport getting ready for the 4th of July parade or hunting for Easter eggs at the condo ... Damn this sucks ...time to go to many tourists getting on the beach .... Going to get a bday cake for grandma ... She loved cake